Under 10 minutes, this Pastor Training Video will equip you to understand and respond to various anxiety disorders as a pastor or fellow Christian. Thanks for watching!
Pastor Training Video: Anxiety Disorders
Addressing Dual Relationships: Should Pastors Counsel?
In most ethical codes for counselors, there is mention that the counselor should seek to avoid dual relationships that are deemed harmful to the client. There are some areas that are never a good idea (having a sexual relationship with a client) and there are some grey areas (living in a small town and coaching Little League where a client’s child is a participant). Some dual relationships can be prevented, and some are unavoidable especially in smaller communities. Christian communities, even within large cities, can often feel small, with many overlapping circles. Unless you live very far from where you work, even the Christian counselor in private practice is likely to have some unavoidable dual relationships with clients.
Dual relationships, however, are not always harmful. The very first question to be asked with dual relationships is this: does the relationship help or harm the client? In an article published on the website of the American Counseling Association, one of the authors gives an example in which he counsels parents who are raising children with muscular dystrophy. The counselor is knowledgeable in this area because he too has a child with muscular dystrophy. As the counselor serves on agency boards and is active in the community in support of causes related to muscular dystrophy, he frequently interacts outside the counseling arena with his clients. This example is highlighted as a beneficial dual relationship, in which the counselor actually gains MORE credibility with his clients because of his work outside the therapy context.
In 2005 American Counseling Association Code of Ethics was updated to increase clarity about dual relationships and opened the door for beneficial dual relationships to exist. This change was of tremendous help to the Christian community, as counselors available to help church members face this problem daily. Can you see clients from your own church? Can a pastor serve as both a pastor and a counselor? Are these two roles or one?
The Church Therapy model suggests that the professional on-staff counselor is always in the role of counselor. Most larger churches no longer have only one pastor; rather, a team of church leaders work together to handle preaching, teaching, pastoral care/visitation, mercy ministries, and discipleship. Because of the growing awareness of mental health issues within the church, more of these problems are coming to light and are requiring treatment. A church therapist can serve as the person who handles these issues, both with individual therapy and with groups, leaving other pastors freed up to focus on other responsibilities.
Pastors will always meet with parishioners to help them walk through life’s challenges. But when these challenges involve complex emotional issues that will take more than 2-3 meetings to resolve, the church therapist can take over. Because in this model the church therapist is a licensed professional, he or she can properly assess, diagnose, and treat these mental health issues within the context of discipleship and spiritual growth. In this team approach, the pastor can do more of what pastors do very well: admonish, teach, correct, and offer care and support.
When the pastor attempts to counsel in a therapeutic sense in addition to all these other roles, the power differential becomes too great. I have personally seen very complicated situations in which pastors are involved in both counseling and church discipline. In my opinion, the person providing a safe place to talk and work through issues cannot be involved in making church discipline decisions. This dual role undermines therapeutic safety and trust. The Church Therapy model allows for the person undergoing church discipline to continue to see the church therapist, even if he or she has had to be removed from ministries or other areas of the church. In this way, the church continues to offer an option for healing and restoration and the therapist maintains a safe relationship with the client.
Pastors play many roles: shepherd, mentor, coach, leader, guide, teacher, host, and hospital visitor. Adding therapy into that mix often leads to confusion and boundary crossing on the part of both the pastor and the client. Ethical, professional therapy done right will keep the therapy space sacred. Even when the church therapist interacts with the client in other parts of the church building, the therapeutic relationship is kept at the forefront. Confidentiality and clear expectations have been established and are maintained as the top priorities of the church therapist. A pastor simply cannot maintain all of this and do his or her job of leading well.
Guest Post by Barry Pearman: How’s Your Vision?
They had put him in a box and gave it a label – ‘No hoper’. None of his fellow church goers had a vision of him beyond his addiction. Subtly their limiting beliefs were limiting his belief in himself.
How often do we do this? We see the problem and not the person. We see the pain and not the presence of God calling us to think beyond.
Cutting, crying and confusion
The townsfolk were scared of this guy. He was wild, angry and full of demons. They had tried to constrain him with chains, but he simply broke them off. His home was now the local cemetery where at night he would yell and scream. He was covered in scars from cutting himself. No one would come near him. That was until someone did come and see beyond his present struggle to a time where he would be the greatest evangelists in the region.
Jesus prayed, and pigs flew.
This is the story of Jesus healing the demon-possessed man of Gerasenes. A man that had been given up on by his neighbors. You can read more in Mark 5:1-20. The most exciting part of this story is the final verses:
“As Jesus was getting into the boat, the demon-delivered man begged to go along, but he wouldn’t let him. Jesus said, ‘Go home to your own people. Tell them your story—what the Master did, how he had mercy on you.’ The man went back and began to preach in the Ten Towns area about what Jesus had done for him. He was the talk of the town.” Mark 5:18-20
Jesus isn’t constrained by limiting beliefs.
A compelling vision
Jesus had a compelling vision that could see beyond. It drew him towards the man and not away Dr. Larry Crabb writes this:
“What would it be like if we had a vision for each other, if we could see the lost glory in ourselves, our family, and our friends? What would the effect on your sons or daughters be if they realized that you were caught up with the possibilities of restored glory, of what they could become— not successful, talented, good-looking, or rich but kind, strong, and self-assured, fully alive.
“When people connect with each other on the basis of a vision for who they are and what they could become; when we see in others what little of Jesus has already begun to form beneath the insecurity, fear, and pride; when we long beyond anything else to see that little bit of Jesus develop and mature; then something is released from within us that has the power to form more of Jesus within them. That power is the life of Christ, carried into another soul across the bridge of our vision for them, a life that touches the life in another with nourishing power. Vision for others both bridges the distance between two souls and triggers the release of the power within us.”
Larry Crabb, Connecting
The difficult person
What is your vision for the most difficult person in your life? Is it a compelling vision that has been birthed in prayer and nurtured in patient silence. Pray for a pulling back of the curtain of your limiting beliefs to see how God sees them – fully alive. It will most likely lead you to ask for forgiveness from God for such a chained up perception. Then pray again and ask God to keep this vision ever before you as listen and love. You may like to read my post Do You Have A ‘Mind To Work’?
May the vision God has for the others fill your life and strengthen it when all that can be seen are cuts, chains and confusion.
~ Barry Pearman
Barry lives in Auckland New Zealand and has a deep passion is to empower people with Mental Illnesses to find recovery and hope. In former years he has had roles as a Mental Health Support Worker and then as a Community Chaplain pastoring people with Major Mental Illnesses.
Visit him at his blog Turning the Page and follow him on Twitter
Happy Summer!
Just a friendly reminder to take a break before we zoom right back into fall! Go enjoy something 🙂
Why is Mental Illness a Hot Topic in the Church?
The Church is supposed to talk about the Bible, right? Sing songs to Jesus, study the Word, talk about God and debate theological constructs. Why would we spend time talking about mental illness? What does that have to do with Jesus or the church or theology?
Here’s why: the Gospel is centered on suffering. The whole of humanity began a steady decline the moment we stepped out of the Garden, and that suffering got worse and worse. Jesus came, and instead of ending it all right there he entered the suffering. His victory over death was achieved through suffering. He continually demonstrated compassion to those who were suffering and he entered their pain. If we as Christians are to imitate him, then we must also voluntarily enter another person’s world of pain.
Mental illness is a hot topic because people are suffering. And not just non-Christians. Right here in our church’s four walls there are those who are suffering with symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, attention-deficit disorder and many more. Too often we preach a works-based Gospel we don’t even believe theologically. “Just do _____ and you won’t feel bad anymore!” Our solutions are often so wrapped up in all that we can muster for ourselves that people walk away saying, “I tried ‘Jesus’ but it just didn’t work for me.”
The only guarantee that we have is that this suffering will end in the end. I can say to anyone with a mental illness or cancer or a heart condition, “You will be healed because in God’s kingdom this doesn’t exist.” But that’s eternity (except for the very real but rare divine moments in which God heals instantly here and now). And it’s a very real hope, but it ends up sounds like a hopeless message when we say it and then walk away from those who are hurting and leave them to bleed. The only thing that can follow up an eternal hope message is a commitment to walk alongside that person with compassion and support for the rest of their days of suffering. Without that, we fail to imitate Christ who entered in with us as a co-participant in our suffering.
Who are the people you are walking alongside through the suffering of their mental illness? Are you leaving the “quick fixes” at the door or do you find that you are exasperated by all the things they are not doing that would (in your mind) solve everything? Are you a safe person to turn to when they need support? In what ways can you live out the Gospel in the midst of another’s pain? If the person is not healed on this earth, are you willing to walk with that person all the way to the gates of Heaven? These are the questions we as the Church must answer or we will decline into a social club for insiders only. Some would say we are already there.
Perfectionism Versus Excellence
I once attended a church conference in which I was struck by the church’s culture of excellence. The leaders and staff had a quality about them that was striking — they all gave their work everything they had while maintaining a humility that was authentic. While they were proud of their ministries and put on the conference in order to share all they had learned, it was not about their own efforts or an ego-boost.
This experience got me thinking about the differences between perfectionism and excellence. First of all, perfectionism and excellence are on opposite ends of the pride-humility spectrum. Perfectionism is rooted in pride because ultimately it is all about striving to be the best. But my best can never be the best. If my best were the best, then I would be the standard-setter. And if I were the standard-setter, I could also be the judge of others who failed to meet that standard. It is here we see that in perfectionism we are taking God’s place as the standard-setter and judge. He alone is perfect.
Excellence, on the other hand, is rooted in humility. It is cultivated in a system in which there are clear roles, expectations and authority structures. Excellence is driven by one’s character — the end result does not matter nearly as much as how you got there. Hard work, dedication, calling and team-building are all central to a culture of excellence.
Matthew 5:48 says, “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Perfectionists for Jesus! But wait a second… This statement comes during the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus is contrasting the outward acts of law-following with the inward heart of Spirit-following. Here Jesus is saying, “Guys, if you want to get to heaven relying on your law-following, then perfection is your only option because God is perfect. The only way to get to Him through the law is perfection.” The obvious implication is that being perfect is impossible, just as relationship with the God based on our own works is impossible. We cannot be perfect and we are in desperate need of a Savior.
Are you striving for perfection? Is your Christian walk rooted in pride or in humility? May we become a Church that is deeply humble, devoted to our Father, and excellent in all we seek to do for His kingdom.
Pastor Training Video: Discipleship in the Midst of Depression
Check out this Pastor Training Video, in which I offer tools for helping someone who is struggling with depression to move forward spiritually. Too often, we use traditional discipleship methods when working with someone who has a mental illness. These methods may not work due to additional challenges that the symptoms of a mood or anxiety disorder can bring.
How do you as a pastor come alongside this person and connect them to their own path of spiritual growth?
Watch the video to find out! It’s worth 10 minutes of your time.
The Impact of Trauma on Relationships and Spiritual Growth
Throughout my career as a counselor, I have worked with many people who have experienced trauma, some of whom suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When we think of PTSD, we sometimes assume these are veterans or victims of violent crime. Less obvious, and certainly far less often disclosed, are victims of sexual abuse by family members. Sadly, this is a common occurrence and as a result many in the Church suffer with lasting affects of this quiet type of trauma.
I have seen commonalities in the responses of those who have been hurt or traumatized by family members. Their relationships with God and with other close, seemingly “safe” people are affected by the trauma of their pasts. This is especially true in a church context, in which the family environment can be triggering for those who have experienced abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to be trusted authority figures.
I created a worksheet that helps explain these patterns, which disrupt one’s relational and spiritual life. It also shows a way to break the cycle using mindfulness of the present.
Click here to view the worksheet: Trauma Response Cycle
Please feel free to share this worksheet with others, and check out my books on Amazon for other helpful resources on mental health and spiritual growth.
Book Excerpt: Emotional Traps
The following is an excerpt from my book, Emotional Traps: Finding Freedom in Everyday Life. This portion of the book provides an overview of the TRAPS assessment tool, originally designed for pastors to use with their parishioners. Anyone who is asking, “Am I emotionally healthy?” can get help answering that question using my TRAPS model. If you want to find out more, you can find the entire book here or by clicking on the picture below:
“’What exactly makes a person emotionally healthy?’ This was the question posed to me by my senior pastor that launched the development of this book, and I believe it is a question many Christians are asking today. As churches have become more vocal about the need for counseling, many have begun to make the connection between spiritual growth and emotional health. Books such as Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend as well as Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazerro are examples of books written to help Christians improve life skills and approach their faith journey with emotional balance.
While there are a variety of Christian books available to offer guidance on specific emotional skills, there has not yet been a book devoted to helping Christians assess their own emotional health. Taking a step back and looking at some key areas in your life can help you see a bigger picture of emotional problems that may be holding you back from spiritual growth.
Let me introduce you to the heart and soul of this book: the TRAPS assessment. The following five areas together provide a concrete picture of what makes up one’s emotional health:
Thinking—Are you able to think about your strengths and weaknesses clearly without feeling either prideful or insecure? Do you have a clear sense of how you present yourself to others and how others may see you? Is your understanding and evaluation of events in your life in line with the perspective of mentors or leaders in your life? In this area of emotional health we are looking for self-awareness, insight, and logical, reasonable thinking.
Relationships—Are your relationships moving you forward spiritually and emotionally or dragging you down? Do you interact with others in your life (friends, family, children) in a way that is positive and constructive or are your relationships filled with conflict? Do you have at least 2-3 friends with whom you can share important feelings as well as a larger group or church setting? Here we are looking for a positive and adequate social network as well as identifying your relational patterns and skills.
Addictions—Do you have anything in your life that you are dependent on besides God? Addictions can be to substances like nicotine, alcohol, caffeine, or drugs as well as to food, sex, gambling, television, the internet, money, etc. You might be tempted to skip over this area if you have not been addicted to drugs, but it is important to look for any area in which you may be dependent.
Past—For so many of us, our past continues to impact our present-day lives. For some, there is past trauma or abuse that continues to shape how they see themselves and others. For others, their own mistakes of the past fill them with so much guilt and shame that they feel they can never truly accept God’s forgiveness and be free. In assessing this area, focus both on past trauma/abuse AND on shame from past sins or mistakes.
Self-care—Sometimes the everyday, mundane routines can be as critical to emotional and spiritual health as any of the other four areas. Habits such as eating well, regular exercise, good sleep patterns, clear task and time management, and even proper money management are essential to a balanced emotional life. How do you handle stress day-to-day? Do you have positive coping skills like journaling or hobbies? Do you demonstrate a level of self-discipline and a healthy lifestyle?
In Chapter 1 we will look at the need for addressing emotional issues in the process of spiritual growth. I will lay out a biblical framework for emotional health: what does God say about taking care of our emotional lives? What role does this have in the process of becoming more like Christ? Chapters 2-6 will take an in-depth look at each of the areas in the TRAPS assessment, focusing on specific problem areas and red flags. Chapter 7 will offer practical suggestions for moving forward once emotional traps have been identified. The final chapter will address medications, including why they are sometimes necessary and why Christians should not be afraid to take medications when they are needed. In the appendix you will find a 100-question assessment tool that you can use as a starting point for personal reflection.
Perhaps you are still not quite sold on the emotional/spiritual connection. Isn’t the Bible all you need to address life’s problems? Some Christians have this point of view: emotional problems derive from sin. Symptoms of depression or anxiety are seen as a result of one’s own sinful lifestyle and behaviors. While it is true that we live in a sin-filled and cursed world, not all emotional problems stem from a specific sin you have committed. Your emotional life is far more complex than this, and there are often factors out of your control that contribute to emotional health problems. I hope that this book can help you understand the big picture of emotional health and offer some ideas for moving forward one step at a time.
Galatians 5:1 says, ‘It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery’ (NIV). I pray that this book will greatly benefit you and help you move forward emotionally and spiritually so that we all may experience the freedom Christ has for us in our everyday lives.”
Click here to check out Kristen’s online course, a self-paced resource to help you work through this book as well as her other books focused on emotional freedom!
The Hiring Gap
When I graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary with my Master’s degree in Counseling, I was fortunate to be already plugged into a church that was eager to have a counselor join the staff. To some, it may not have been the most attractive job offer: come create your own job for no money. However, what was hidden underneath the seeming lack was a gem of opportunity.
Working in the church setting (under the supervision of a contract supervisor) gave me the opportunity to do the kind of counseling I wanted to do in the context where I had hoped to do it. Most of my fellow graduates went out into the secular mental health field, disillusioned because there were no “church jobs” out there. There is an unfortunate hiring gap that prevents trained Christian professionals from actually entering into the church setting after graduation. There are very few (if any) churches that are actively seeking to hire graduates, so an overwhelming majority are lost to the church for good. Some may resurface in private practice years down the road, but many do not return to a Christian practice and few actually work within the church’s walls where counseling would be most accessible.
Instead of working at an agency (with endless bureaucracy, high staff and client turnover and job requirements continually added to your load), I got to work for the church and fulfill the calling God had given me. I had my own office (given to me for free), worked when I wanted to work and got to be co-workers with the church staff rather than become an unknown cog in a giant agency wheel. Most Christian counselors have to work years in a secular agency to gain hours towards licensure prior to starting their own practice. And those that make it to the private practice stage often have to take out small business loans to fund the first year of overhead costs while they get their business up and running.
When we first launched New Hope Christian Counseling, my pastor and I walked through the church offices, at the time located on the first floor of a multi-family house that was converted for that purpose. We looked at various options for client entry, waiting area space and office space and ultimately decided that his current office was the most private. No questions asked, that office was given to me. We made a cute little “waiting area” in the pseudo-kitchen and it worked. The opportunity given to me was a win-win: I avoided having to work in a setting where I did not belong and had the chance to launch my dream without the burden of overhead costs, and the church got a staff member with professional training that could uniquely meet the needs of the congregation and the larger community.
Most pastors don’t think they can afford to hire another staff member. But you don’t need money to bring Church Therapy to your church. You need a belief in the counseling process. You need willingness to prioritize mental health and incorporate professional treatment into the process of discipleship in your church. You need people who need emotional support. And you need to be comfortable enough with your own emotional health that you aren’t threatened by the presence of a counselor.
Counseling generates revenue. There are a variety of ways to do that, as I have described in this earlier article. Whether you can afford to pay a full salary, a half salary, or no salary at all, you can bring a professional Christian counselor on your staff. I am available for consultation with churches who are interested in exploring how to bring this model into their church setting. I am also working to establish a Residency Program, placing graduates of licensure-track Christian counseling Master’s programs into churches that are looking to create jobs for them. If you are interested in consultation services or finding out more about the Residency Program, comment below or send me an email at newhope@ecic.tv.