The Hiring Gap

When I graduated from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary with my Master’s degree in Counseling, I was fortunate to be already plugged into a church that was eager to have a counselor join the staff. To some, it may not have been the most attractive job offer: come create your own job for no money. However, what was hidden underneath the seeming lack was a gem of opportunity.

Working in the church setting (under the supervision of a contract supervisor) gave me the opportunity to do the kind of counseling I wanted to do in the context where I had hoped to do it. Most of my fellow graduates went out into the secular mental health field, disillusioned because there were no “church jobs” out there. There is an unfortunate hiring gap that prevents trained Christian professionals from actually entering into the church setting after graduation. There are very few (if any) churches that are actively seeking to hire graduates, so an overwhelming majority are lost to the church for good. Some may resurface in private practice years down the road, but many do not return to a Christian practice and few actually work within the church’s walls where counseling would be most accessible.

Instead of working at an agency (with endless bureaucracy, high staff and client turnover and job requirements continually added to your load), I got to work for the church and fulfill the calling God had given me. I had my own office (given to me for free), worked when I wanted to work and got to be co-workers with the church staff rather than become an unknown cog in a giant agency wheel. Most Christian counselors have to work years in a secular agency to gain hours towards licensure prior to starting their own practice. And those that make it to the private practice stage often have to take out small business loans to fund the first year of overhead costs while they get their business up and running.

When we first launched New Hope Christian Counseling, my pastor and I walked through the church offices, at the time located on the first floor of a multi-family house that was converted for that purpose. We looked at various options for client entry, waiting area space and office space and ultimately decided that his current office was the most private. No questions asked, that office was given to me. We made a cute little “waiting area” in the pseudo-kitchen and it worked. The opportunity given to me was a win-win: I avoided having to work in a setting where I did not belong and had the chance to launch my dream without the burden of overhead costs, and the church got a staff member with professional training that could uniquely meet the needs of the congregation and the larger community.

Most pastors don’t think they can afford to hire another staff member. But you don’t need money to bring Church Therapy to your church. You need a belief in the counseling process. You need willingness to prioritize mental health and incorporate professional treatment into the process of discipleship in your church. You need people who need emotional support. And you need to be comfortable enough with your own emotional health that you aren’t threatened by the presence of a counselor.

Counseling generates revenue. There are a variety of ways to do that, as I have described in this earlier article. Whether you can afford to pay a full salary, a half salary, or no salary at all, you can bring a professional Christian counselor on your staff. I am available for consultation with churches who are interested in exploring how to bring this model into their church setting. I am also working to establish a Residency Program, placing graduates of licensure-track Christian counseling Master’s programs into churches that are looking to create jobs for them. If you are interested in consultation services or finding out more about the Residency Program, comment below or send me an email at newhope@ecic.tv.

Learn. Listen. Love.

When it comes to mental illness, there is a lot we don’t understand. Even neuroscientists who devote their lives to the study of the brain are still trying to figure out the puzzle. Sadly, Christians are often uninformed or misinformed about mental illness, causing too-frequent judgmental responses. And often these responses are systemic and subconscious, so they go undetected by those who perpetuate them. Any stigma or bias against the experience of another individual causes harm and creates shame and blame.

Learn

I believe as followers of Jesus we can do better. I think change can happen when we start by learning. Educate yourself on the latest research on the brain. Read about the symptoms of mental illnesses and find out more about common medications used to treat depression, anxiety and mood disorders. There are some great resources out there, including the National Alliance for Mental Illness and PsyPost.org.

Listen

The next step is to listen. All the statistics and facts and research in the world do not speak to an individual’s situation nearly as well as their own voice. When a friend shares that he or she is struggling with depression or anxiety, just listen. Then listen more. Then keep listening. It is so tempting to put in your opinion, give advice, or turn the conversation back to yourself. Be present with that person and sit with their story.

Love

Finally, may we truly be the Church towards those who are hurting and demonstrate love. Not love if they get better. Not tough love to teach them a lesson. Actual, real, agape love with no strings and no expectations. Love them for who they are and where they are at. Let them be on their own journey and choose to walk alongside. Make a meal, give a ride, babysit, mow a lawn. Whatever your spiritual gift is, use it to love that person who is suffering. When we love, we embody the Spirit of God just as Christ did while on earth. May it be said of the Church that we demonstrated compassion and love to every person we encountered no matter the struggle.

Cultivating Peace

Whether or not you experience mental illness, you need to take time to care for your mental health. Each of us can practice daily routines and habits that will help us decrease stress. For those that do have symptoms of a mental illness, these practices will help with symptom management. Taking time for your mental health also helps you refocus on God and connect you with your spiritual journey.

Here are some tips for cultivating peace in your life:

Slow down

When we look at the life of Jesus, we see a very different era and culture. I do not think most of us can truly imagine life without electricity. Or cars. Or gadgets that speed up every task we have to do. Try to picture a life in which you walk everywhere, slowly. You go to bed when it gets dark and rise when the sun does. Our bodies were designed to live at this pace, and in our modern society we have pushed our bodies to the limits. Jesus lived slowly, and even though this was in a different historical and cultural context, I think there is much we can learn from the pace at which Jesus lived life.

Connect to the Spirit

Another regular habit that Jesus displayed was connection with the Father. We have that same connection available to us through the Holy Spirit. One of my favorite verses is found in 1 Corinthians 2:15-16: “Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. For, ‘Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?’ But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.” I find it amazing to think that we have the ability through the Spirit to know and understand the Father’s thoughts. Aligning our minds with His directly allows us to cultivate peace in our lives as we rid ourselves of foolish or distorted thinking.

Attend to your surroundings

If you are living in chaos (relationally, in your schedule, or in your physical space) it will be very difficult to find peace. Relational conflict, chaotic time management, or living in a messy space will disrupt the inner peace. Often, your outward surroundings are a reflection of what is going on inside your heart. And often inner peace can be cultivated by taking care of the things in your outer environment. Taking time to clean up, organize your schedule, or resolve a conflict with a friend are ways to cultivate peace in your life. Tying up loose ends helps your brain feel finished, and you may find your sleep and mood improve. Simple things like lighting a candle, putting on soothing music or having some fresh flowers in the room can also go a long way to creating a peaceful space.

Peace grows in our lives when we actively work to develop it. Any fruit of the Spirit must be planted, watered, and nurtured in order to bear fruit. As we expand our hearts and minds and surrender to God more and more, we open up more space for the Spirit to dwell.

Mental Illness: 7 Key Truths

Mental Illness Is…

Physical and treatable

Get ready for some big, shocking news: the brain is a part of your body! The brain is the most complex and mysterious organs within the body, and we live with a false idea that we are in control (or should be) of all of our emotions. Many factors influence our brain structure and chemistry as well as the neural pathways that our thoughts travel on. Genetic makeup is a factor, but genetics are not set in stone and do not guarantee that you will get an illness simply because there is a family history. Just as a person can have a predisposition for cancer but may or may not develop cancer, so too mental health issues can be genetic but also triggered by environmental factors like stress, loss, trauma and crisis. Hormones can play a role as well, in cases such as postpartum depression, emotional dysregulation in menopause, or as part of more severe symptoms that some experience in a menstrual cycle.

While these illness are not yet curable, they can be treatable with medical and non-medical options, just like other types of diseases. These can include self-care (diet and exercise, sleep, etc.), sharing your feelings with a counselor, and filling your life with positive meaning. We need to talk about emotional/mental health problems the same we do physical illnesses — if you wouldn’t say it to someone with cancer don’t say it to someone who is struggling with anxiety or depression.

Common

1 in 4 Americans will experience symptoms of a mental illness within their lifetime. Also, within any given year 1 in 5 adults is experiencing symptoms of a mental illness. The National Alliance for Mental Illness provides other statistics here. If the Church is doing its job to reach out to the hurting and marginalized, then the rates of mental illness within the Church may actually be higher. You are certainly not alone in your struggle, even as a follower of Jesus.

Not your fault

We tend to blame ourselves for emotional struggles. Why? Because when we feel helpless or face the unknown we look for answers and a place to lay blame. Turn on the news when tragedy strikes — almost immediately the pundits begin to engage in a blame game to try to explain the situation or imagine possibilities of prevention in the future. We also sometimes blame God or become angry with him, but we must remember that our diseased world is a result of original sin and the curse. It is Satan’s masterpiece.

Some people argue, “Are there ways in which we can create anxiety and depression or other emotional problems in our own lives?” Of course. Sin and unhealthy relationships or choices can cause problems. But nothing happens in a vacuum, so there are almost always underlying root issues that may not be your fault that are part of the reason you are engaging in harmful behavior. And a clinical mental illness is a physical disorder not caused by your behavior or personal sin.

Not removed by a “quota” of faith

A recent study by the Christian group LifeWay research looked at attitudes about mental illness within the church. They found that 48% of Christians believe that prayer and Bible study alone can overcome mental illness. Would 48% of Christians believe that prayer and Bible study alone can overcome cancer? Diabetes? High cholesterol? Of course we believe that God can and does instantly heal all kinds of disease, but we understand that miracles are a work of the Holy Spirit and not of ourselves. When we turn faith into a measurable quantity that we have to have “enough” of, we place the power in our own hands to accomplish our own miracle.

You do not experience clinical depression, anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, PTSD, or any other illness because you lack faith. We experience these because our bodies can be corrupted by disease. We do not get to dictate the timeline of our healing, but we have hope that at the very least in our eternal lives we will no longer suffer.

Not evidence of being a “2nd class Christian”

We have created a class system within the Church that is based on comparing ourselves with others. If we do not fit the mold of “happy Christian” we often feel we are not good enough. Earlier this year while on vacation I visited a church in which the pastor said that he noticed people appeared happy when they came to church on Sundays but then were struggling throughout the week. He asserted, “Let’s not just be happy on Sundays, let’s be happy all week long.” While I’m sure everyone would love to be happy all the time, it is simply not the reality of life.

What happens if you are not happy? Do you have to fake it? If the Church wants to become a safe and authentic community, we must accept others for exactly who they are. You must accept yourself for exactly who you are. In this way we can journey with Jesus together, being honest and vulnerable. 2 Corinthians 12:9 comes to mind here — if His strength is made perfect when we are weak, why are we trying to force being strong all the time?

A place to meet Christ in the midst of suffering

Tim Keller writes in his book “Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering” that the secular world views suffering as a bad thing, but suffering is truly at the heart of Christianity. Jesus voluntary chose a path of suffering, and told his followers they would suffer. If we know that Jesus lived in a place of suffering, then we must ask, “How can I meet Christ in my place of suffering?”

Rather than a spiritual deficit, emotional struggles are a powerful place for spiritual growth. We may need to redefine what “spiritual growth” looks like — have we created a picture of being a happy, upper-middle class American and defined that as what it means to be spiritually mature?  James 1 says that perseverance must finish its work so you can be mature and complete, not lacking in anything. Perseverance requires something difficult, for it is impossible to persevere without struggle.

An opportunity for grace

What is “grace”? Some have defined “grace” as God’s unmerited favor given to us. Unmerited means we do not have to earn it, and “favor” is a type of kindness and blessing. Can you give yourself grace today? What does it mean to be kind to yourself not because you have earned it but because God has given it to you? What does it mean for you to offer grace to a friend who is struggling? What would it mean for the Church to become a place of grace for those who are emotionally suffering?

Check out my other blog post about “A Different Kind of Silence” in which I suggested that as those who have suffered from mental illness begin to speak out and share their stories, the Church should respond with gentle silence. Just listening. A compassionate hug. Weep with those who weep. In doing so, we encounter the love and grace of Christ who allows us to come to Him exactly as we are.

Becoming the You God Sees

I am excited to announce the launch of my brand new ebook, Becoming the You God Sees. This easy-to-read Christian mental health resource introduces you to a step-by-step guide for how to get emotionally and spiritually unstuck. I reveal the 3 secrets to getting unstuck so that you can unleash your full potential and be every single thing God made you to be.

I want to get this into as many hands as possible, so this week (Oct 10-14) it is FREE on Amazon. Be sure to bookmark the page and set a reminder on your phone so that you do not miss this deal. Even better: tell all your friends about it through Facebook or Twitter by joining my Thunderclap campaign. The Thunderclap will automatically post for you on Thursday, Oct 12 at 9pm EST. Let’s get this resource into the hands of as many people as possible. Will you join me?

In my work as a counselor over the past 12 years, I have worked with so many who do not love themselves. They hate the version of themselves that they have become. My claim has always been that if you do not love yourself you do not know the you that God created. What we hate are the effects of abuse, sin, disorder, or dysfunction. Life in this broken world messes us up. But we can get free. And we can live free lives. This ebook (which includes links to my weekly live coaching call and online course) offers a path to freedom. I hope that you will take this journey with me, and pass it on to someone you know who wants to discover their true identity.

 

When Pastors Need Help

Church leadership comes with pressure. Eyes are watching how you handle yourself. People are evaluating your performance. Those whom you serve can become critical and judgmental when they disagree with your preaching or ministry. Admission of sin can lead to the loss of your job. So what do you do when you need mental health treatment and you have a church to lead?

Establish Weekly Accountability and Support

If you are a pastor or ministry leader and you do not have a clear list of people with whom you can be 100% honest, you are on your way to a major fall. Sin can trap us all, and the only way to avoid snares is to catch them early. Most problems don’t start out as major problems. Who are you calling when you are tempted in an area that has owned you before? Who do you lean on when you have a discouraging day? Who do you tell when you have thoughts you would rather not say aloud?

Once you have established who those people are (could be as few as 2-3), then you need to have regularly scheduled times that you talk. You can’t wait until you feel the need to reach out. Church leaders need weekly check-ins. Most of the time when a problem is in its earliest stages of formation, those who know you best will spot something that is off. My best friend is more than happy to call me out when needed, and often in ways I did not see myself. We all have blind spots, so we need people who are hearing our detailed thoughts and getting a weekly report on our actions.

Seek Help Outside Your Circles

When your closest friends spot red flags, it may be time to seek additional help. If that discouraging day turns into a few weeks of despair, your friends will hopefully spot that pattern and encourage you to talk to a professional. Don’t put that off and simply wait for things to get better or return to “normal.” Chances are there are things you need to work through, and if you have never been to counseling then it’s a great time to start exploring all that lies underneath the surface.

That being said, pastors cannot always seek mental health treatment or counseling in their local communities. These counseling practices might be the referral sources for parishioners of the church, and a pastor may feel unsafe talking to someone closely tied to the church. Don’t hesitate to drive an hour to get to counseling. It’s worth it and you will not regret getting the help as early as possible when you notice a problem. There are also some online counseling options now, which can help you connect with a counselor completely outside your sphere of influence.

Be Willing to Walk Away

If fear of losing your job or your ministry is causing you to solve your own problems in secret, you have an even bigger problem than you think. You need to be willing to lay even the ministry to which you have been called at the foot of the cross and walk away. If your stress level is so high that you are struggling to function through a day, or if you are so depressed that you are having fleeting thoughts of suicide, it is time to step away from ministry for a season. If you keep going and try to push through your problems without seeking help, you are far more likely to become disqualified for the long-term. Taking a 6-month or year-long leave of absence to take care of your mental health is a lot better than reaching a point where you can no longer serve as a leader at all.

You are not a superhero, nor are you called to save the world. Pastors and church leaders must take care of themselves and their families first. If you take time away from ministry for a season, God may show you some broken places that need healing. Or he may reveal to you some new next steps in your calling. When you attend to your needs and seek help from God and others, you are making a physical and spiritual decision to choose to live in health. Satan is eager to devour you in any way he can, so don’t give him room to work by ignoring your own mental health.

NEW! Freedom For Today Devotionals

One of the biggest complaints I hear from pastors about the Church Therapy model is that there are not enough Christian counselors to meet the mental health needs in their congregations. (Ironically, the Christian counseling graduates complain that there are no churches trying to hire counselors… We’re trying to fix that with the Residency Program!)

Because there are so many reasons not everyone can make it into a counseling office, I’ve decided to bring more of my insights about emotional health to you, your friends and your fellow church members. FreedomForToday.com offers daily devotional insights from a Christian counselor’s perspective. I’ve started in Galatians 5 and will work my way through a variety of passages in the Bible that connect with our mental health.

Subscribe to Freedom For Today to get a daily devotional sent straight to your inbox! And don’t forget to share the page on Facebook and Twitter with all your friends.

If you are looking for more Christian self-help resources, check out my books page as well! I can’t reach everyone from my counseling office, but my books offer a lot of the wisdom I share with my clients every single day. Pass on these resources to your church so that we can continue to talk openly about emotional and mental health on a daily basis. Enjoy!

CXMH Interview — MUST LISTEN!!

Hi everybody! An extra post in here to share this interview that I did with Robert Vore and Steve Austin on their CXMH podcast (which is awesome, go subscribe!). These guys are such great leaders in the conversation about mental health in the church.

This is one of the most comprehensive interviews I have ever given about how the Church Therapy model works, and I’m super excited to share it with you! Thanks for listening and supporting the cause of fighting the stigma of mental illness in our churches.

How We Marginalize Christians With Mental Illness

Every Sunday, unintended messages are delivered from pulpits around the country. Pastors, tasked with the incredibly difficult job of understanding the Word of God and delivering it in memorable form to their congregations, cannot be expected to be perfect in every word they say. And I would certainly never suggest that perfection is the goal for sermon delivery. However, when we fight the stigma of mental illness, it helps to increase awareness as to the subtle messages that penetrate through our Christian words, whether intended or not.

 

So what are some of the unintended messages found in sermons (and in Christian conversation)?

1. Your mental illness will go away with increased faith or trust in God.

The symptoms of mental illness are physical. I prefer the term “brain disorder” and I hope that through advances in neuroscience we can get even more precise in our language. While there are many positive steps a person can take to improve their symptoms and create balance in their lives, simply white-knuckling your way into health via sweaty prayers is not going to do it. We have to stop suggesting that this can work. Prayer is powerful and supernatural and absolutely essential. But use prayer towards mental illness in the same way you would use it with other physical disorders.

2.You are doing something sinful or spiritually off track if you experience anxiety or depression.

Victim-blaming happens because it is easier than trying to understand a currently very mysterious physical phenomenon. Our theology makes us feel better when it fits in nice rows of boxes. But life is messy and disorder is ugly and when we don’t have answers we get fidgety. And so, however unintentionally, we victim-blame when we respond to a person with depression by saying, “Have you tried giving it over to God?” or even worse, “Focusing on yourself is selfish and you just need to get out there and serve others.” Or quoting Scripture about anxiety to an anxious person. Every person I have ever met who is experiencing anxiety would LOVE to throw it all at the feet of Jesus and feel better. Unfortunately, the brain does not work that way. Normal, everyday life worries? Sure. But persistent, chronic symptoms? No. There is nothing a person experiencing symptoms of a brain disorder did to cause their illness, nor is there anything spiritual they can do to make it go away. That does NOT mean they are disqualified from the Christian life. Rather, it means we have to understand that sitting in God’s presence and choosing to follow him daily while continuing to experience mental illness is a noble endeavor. Those that maintain their faith in the midst of such darkness are in my mind some of the most amazing Jesus-followers. (And history would agree… the Desert Fathers, Mother Teresa and others experienced periods of deep depression.)

3. Everyone is able to work harder and doing so will result in spiritual (and possibly material) success.

This American message is simply not the message of the Bible. If everyone had the same shot at success, God would not need to mention the oppressed so much. Those who are privileged enough to never experience racial, socioeconomic, gender, biological or intellectual disadvantage often do not understand why not everyone is given the same head start. At times, we marginalize those experiencing depression, anxiety or other brain disorders by viewing them as “lazy” (even if we don’t quite say it but instead just think it when we decide in our minds what they “should” be doing better). Many people I have worked with are simply unable to work because of a mental health condition. On the outside, they might appear able-bodied. But their minds may not provide the stability or stamina required to maintain full-time or even part-time work. We have to watch out for the subtle ways that even in our body language we communicate judgment.

What can we do to correct some of these messages?

1. Talk about mental illness like you talk about cancer.

Those of you that follow this blog or my Twitter handle (@ChurchTherapist) have probably heard my rule on this… If you cannot replace the mental health term in your sentence with the word “cancer” you probably should not say it. About a month ago on Twitter, someone made a comment that “in 10,000 years, all the anxiety you feel right now will seem silly.” Now, they probably were not thinking about mental illness. But when you use the word “anxiety” you are talking to people who experience clinical levels of anxiety whether you want to be or not. So I tweeted back something like, “In 10,000 years from now, all the cancer cells ravaging your body right now will seem silly. Hmm, guess not…” See how that really is completely insensitive and something we would NEVER say to a cancer patient? We have to change our casual language when using mental health terms.

2. Acknowledge the struggle of mental illness from the pulpit as a regular caveat.

Something as simple as, “I know some of you are struggling with anxiety or mood problems that you just can’t seem to shake. Even pastors experience that too” would be a phenomenal start. As you do your sermon prep (or as you engage in conversations in small groups or with friends), think about how what you are saying would sound to someone who is struggling with a life controlling physical problem they cannot make go away. When you talk about Paul’s thorn in the flesh, mention mental illness as another type of thorn. Do all you can to acknowledge and validate the physical reality that disorder can happen in the brain too. And when the brain experiences dysfunction, it is a confusing and frustrating experience.

3. Practice multi-level discipleship.

Not everyone in your church has the same reading level. You have a range of ages, and even among the adults there is likely a variance in education level or intellectual functioning. Yet for some reason we kind of aim for a middle and hope for the best, leaving some to fall through the cracks. Now, if we are only talking about reading level, then it is possible a mentor would come alongside to help a person understand the Bible better (or give them an easier version to read). But what about the varying biological and emotional capacities that occur in our churches? Not everyone is able to show up for the potluck. Is that the only option in your church for developing community? If it is, the person with social anxiety disorder will never get to connect. Does being plugged into ministry mean you are on a schedule and you have to show up on that schedule or you’re off the team? If so, someone who experiences depressive episodes or chronic pain issues will end up disqualified. Be creative, finding ways to make accommodations for those who are struggling emotionally or physically. Disciple each person from where they are at, rather than expecting them to rise to a certain capability in a set amount of time.

Ultimately, we must all watch out for the ways in which the American cultural ideals of success and achieving your dreams by pulling yourself up by your bootstraps work their way into our conversations and theology. God’s heart is for the poor, the oppressed, the disabled, the marginalized and the hurting. As the Church, we must practice an embrace that is as safe as Jesus’ — not full of judgment and condemnation but rather full of love and restoration. We cannot give up on those who are unable to follow our “normal” growth tracks. We must patiently walk alongside, offering support, help and hope.

 

Humility and Your Mental Health

Beginning with the premise that all truth is God’s truth, I always find it fascinating when the study of psychology proves what the Bible has said all along. Advancements in neuroscience, including the concept of neuroplasticity for example, gives us a deeper understanding as to how to “renew our minds” and demonstrates why prayer and worship are actual brain-changers.

Recently I was thinking about the biblical concept of Christ-like humility, and I came across an interesting article, “8 Psychological Benefits of Being Humble.” Just another reminder that God’s ways are always intended to benefit our lives, even though sometimes it feels like he is forcing us to do the “right” (but very unpleasant) thing. Eating broccoli enriches your life even though donuts might be tastier in the moment. However, for those who place a high value on health, eating healthy foods is not a chore but a gift.

So what is humility and how can it benefit your mental health?

 

I first turn to the Bible for definition, and I find a powerful description of humility in Philippians 2:5-11:

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

Though he was God,
    he did not think of equality with God
    as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
    he took the humble position of a slave
    and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,
     he humbled himself in obedience to God
    and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
    and gave him the name above all other names,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father” (NLT).

I have left the formatting of these verses as they appear in Scripture to highlight that this seems to be a quote of a song or poem. Some have suggested that this may have been a song that Paul and Silas sang together in prison. Humility as described here is something so central to the identity of Christ that it is the key trait that enabled him to save us. In considering this, I find that there is tremendous spiritual power in Christ-like humility when we adopt a willingness to serve others even when it costs us greatly.

So far, this idea would seem like a horrible life of suffering. Under such a heavy weight, one’s mental health would surely crumble. And yet in the article I mentioned earlier, humility is cited as being soothing to one’s soul, increasing one’s capacity for self-control, increasing work and school performance and improving a person’s relationships. How is this possible?

Matthew 11:28-30 comes to mind here: “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (NLT).

When we truly accept and embrace humility without fighting against it, we enter into a level of spiritual peace that God designed for us to have. Our bodies and our minds can be at rest when we do not consider ourselves better, wiser, or more “right” than others. When we take time to acknowledge our own blind spots, we have a greater level of grace for others. We re-align ourselves with God and with community and we release all our instincts to have something to prove.

If Jesus’ burden is light, then we are actually relieved when we follow his example. He didn’t spend his time on earth complaining or telling his disciples of all the great things he had given up for them. He had no resentment. He knew that his choice to come to earth was freely given, for a purpose and for a season that would end in a victory. Perhaps we would all find peace and rest if we released resentment and humbled ourselves as servants of all. May God give us grace to do so today and restore our minds and hearts as we trust in him.