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Christian Mindfulness

The word “mindfulness” is defined as “a quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.” While this idea has Buddhist origins, the direction of one’s awareness is what can make this practice different between Christians and Buddhists. That being said, there are many aspects of mindfulness that would be the same regardless of religious belief. For example, relaxing your body and paying attention to your own thoughts as they come in to your mind is neither Christian nor Buddhist.

So why should Christians practice mindfulness and how is it best done from a Christian worldview?

Mindfulness Brings Awareness of God’s Presence

God is always with us, as he said he will never leave us or forsake us. Yet as Christians we are only partially aware of God’s continual presence. Mindfulness can help bring back a more full awareness of God’s presence as we connect to him in intentional and mindful prayer.

You can practice this by finding a quiet place with no distractions. Close your eyes and focus your thoughts on God. You can have 2-3 Bible verses memorized or on index cards that you reflect on. If your thoughts wander, simply bring them back gently to the verses you have selected. (Colossians 3:15 is a great example). After you have meditated on these verses, bring your awareness onto the presence of God. You can imagine sitting at his feet or you can picture him hugging you. You can also picture him dwelling in you. As you do this, you can relax your body and breathe more slowly, just resting in his awesome presence. When we are actively aware of God, we connect with the Kingdom of Heaven and we can experience greater levels of peace.

Mindfulness Helps Us Renew Our Minds

Romans 12:2 tells us that as a Christian you should “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Mindfulness is a skill that takes practice, as we mentally train ourselves to focus on God and his word. Our brains are constantly adapting to new experiences and changing through learning. Relaxation and mindfulness creates actual changes in the brain (a concept known as neuroplasticity). Focusing our attention on God through mindfulness helps renew our minds as we reduce stress in our bodies and bring healing to our brains.

Increased awareness of the presence of God, of our own bodies and of the thoughts in our minds helps us to be intentional. A lack of awareness brings more chaos as we fall into a trap of rushing through our day with little awareness of God or our own needs. Mindfulness, whether practiced alone in a quiet place or simply as a momentary check-in in the midst of a crowd, helps us intentionally refocus on God and his Kingdom. Mindfulness can also help slow our bodies down, which is quite counter-cultural for us Americans. Jesus was never in a hurry, and he was continually mindful of his Father and his mission.

Mindfulness Gives Us Grace For Ourselves and Others

A common struggle people have when beginning to practice mindfulness is that of cluttered or racing thoughts. The moment you close your eyes, your mind can be flooded with all the worries and stress of your day. Too often our reaction is to push those things away or become frustrated that they are in the way of focusing on God. In this process we can actually grow in the area of giving ourselves and others grace. We can pay attention to these thoughts without judgment as we observe the areas in which we need the most help from God. We can then invite him into those worries and cluttered thoughts and allow him to align our thoughts to his.

One important aspect of mindfulness is acceptance of yourself in a non-judgmental way. Christians can sometimes get nervous with this language because they fear that in reducing judgment on themselves they will give into their sinfulness or stop growing in Christ. “I’m okay, you’re okay” feels like lying to ourselves and simply covering over sin. But at the heart of the Gospel is the idea that we are loved and accepted as we are. If we are in Christ, then he alone is our judge and he chooses to love us. We can align our perspectives with his in this way, and while practicing mindfulness become more aware of God’s unconditional love and acceptance for us. Allow his love for your to bring peace and healing into your mind and soul today.

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Perfectionism Versus Excellence

I once attended a church conference in which I was struck by the church’s culture of excellence. The leaders and staff had a quality about them that was striking — they all gave their work everything they had while maintaining a humility that was authentic. While they were proud of their ministries and put on the conference in order to share all they had learned, it was not about their own efforts or an ego-boost.

This experience got me thinking about the differences between perfectionism and excellence. First of all, perfectionism and excellence are on opposite ends of the pride-humility spectrum. Perfectionism is rooted in pride because ultimately it is all about striving to be the best. But my best can never be the best. If my best were the best, then I would be the standard-setter. And if I were the standard-setter, I could also be the judge of others who failed to meet that standard. It is here we see that in perfectionism we are taking God’s place as the standard-setter and judge. He alone is perfect.

Excellence, on the other hand, is rooted in humility. It is cultivated in a system in which there are clear roles, expectations and authority structures. Excellence is driven by one’s character — the end result does not matter nearly as much as how you got there. Hard work, dedication, calling and team-building are all central to a culture of excellence.

Matthew 5:48 says, “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Perfectionists for Jesus! But wait a second… This statement comes during the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus is contrasting the outward acts of law-following with the inward heart of Spirit-following. Here Jesus is saying, “Guys, if you want to get to heaven relying on your law-following, then perfection is your only option because God is perfect. The only way to get to Him through the law is perfection.” The obvious implication is that being perfect is impossible, just as relationship with the God based on our own works is impossible. We cannot be perfect and we are in desperate need of a Savior.

Are you striving for perfection? Is your Christian walk rooted in pride or in humility? May we become a Church that is deeply humble, devoted to our Father, and excellent in all we seek to do for His kingdom.

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The Impact of Trauma on Relationships and Spiritual Growth

Throughout my career as a counselor, I have worked with many people who have experienced trauma, some of whom suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). When we think of PTSD, we sometimes assume these are veterans or victims of violent crime. Less obvious, and certainly far less often disclosed, are victims of sexual abuse by family members. Sadly, this is a common occurrence and as a result  many in the Church suffer with lasting affects of this quiet type of trauma.

I have seen commonalities in the responses of those who have been hurt or traumatized by family members. Their relationships with God and with other close, seemingly “safe” people are affected by the trauma of their pasts. This is especially true in a church context, in which the family environment can be triggering for those who have experienced abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to be trusted authority figures.

I created a worksheet that helps explain these patterns, which disrupt one’s relational and spiritual life. It also shows a way to break the cycle using mindfulness of the present.

Click here to view the worksheet: Trauma Response Cycle

Please feel free to share this worksheet with others, and check out my books on Amazon for other helpful resources on mental health and spiritual growth.

 

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Learn. Listen. Love.

When it comes to mental illness, there is a lot we don’t understand. Even neuroscientists who devote their lives to the study of the brain are still trying to figure out the puzzle. Sadly, Christians are often uninformed or misinformed about mental illness, causing too-frequent judgmental responses. And often these responses are systemic and subconscious, so they go undetected by those who perpetuate them. Any stigma or bias against the experience of another individual causes harm and creates shame and blame.

Learn

I believe as followers of Jesus we can do better. I think change can happen when we start by learning. Educate yourself on the latest research on the brain. Read about the symptoms of mental illnesses and find out more about common medications used to treat depression, anxiety and mood disorders. There are some great resources out there, including the National Alliance for Mental Illness and PsyPost.org.

Listen

The next step is to listen. All the statistics and facts and research in the world do not speak to an individual’s situation nearly as well as their own voice. When a friend shares that he or she is struggling with depression or anxiety, just listen. Then listen more. Then keep listening. It is so tempting to put in your opinion, give advice, or turn the conversation back to yourself. Be present with that person and sit with their story.

Love

Finally, may we truly be the Church towards those who are hurting and demonstrate love. Not love if they get better. Not tough love to teach them a lesson. Actual, real, agape love with no strings and no expectations. Love them for who they are and where they are at. Let them be on their own journey and choose to walk alongside. Make a meal, give a ride, babysit, mow a lawn. Whatever your spiritual gift is, use it to love that person who is suffering. When we love, we embody the Spirit of God just as Christ did while on earth. May it be said of the Church that we demonstrated compassion and love to every person we encountered no matter the struggle.

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The Church as the Therapeutic Milieu

Throughout my career in the mental health field I have worked in almost every type of therapeutic setting out there — inpatient hospital, outpatient clinic, in-home outreach, group home/residential setting, and the church. I believe it is because of my wide range of experiences that I have come to view the church as a therapeutic milieu, with staff addressing a variety of needs and peer groups in which to work out therapeutic problems. Church Therapy is not tremendously different in therapeutic structure from secular mental health agencies that provide therapists, case workers, psychiatrists, crisis teams and the like all working together on a single case. But unlike these secular settings, Church Therapy works with the whole person, including their spiritual development as an integral part of addressing their mental health needs.

Recently I was working with a client who has difficulty with trust in relationships. We have spent a good deal of time in individual therapy processing the trauma that is at the root of her lack of trust, and we have wrestled through what it means to build safe relationships. Because she has been hurt within her former church, we had a critical therapeutic decision: run from the church because it is not safe or run to the church in a new way that rebuilds trust and actually allows Christ to restore what was broken.

One of the things that is essential in any therapeutic milieu is safety. Whether you are on an inpatient unit or in a client’s home, there are various boundaries and structures that make that environment safe or unsafe. And just as there are many secular therapeutic settings that turn out to be unsafe because those structures collapse, there are many church settings where there is not relational, emotional, or spiritual safety. Let this not cause us to give up altogether on the church context. Rather, we must build new church cultures and structures that restore safety and rebuild trust. The Church Therapy model is designed to do just that, bringing a professional counselor onto a church staff in order to influence the church culture in a direction of emotional safety and create accessible mental health services within the church.

As I worked through strategies with my client about how to work on building trust, I raised the idea of using our Wednesday night small group setting as a means of testing the waters. Here we have exactly what we are looking for: a place to build relationships slowly focusing on a Bible discussion rather than on personal issues. The fact that the small group structure exists in a context with which we are both familiar creates a tremendous opportunity for healing. Safety is there because I can oversee the entire process from a therapeutic standpoint. I can help her navigate the challenges because I am heavily involved in the Wednesday night program as a church staff member. Were I operating in a off-site, private practice, I would not have the opportunity or influence to guide that process correctly. And without that ability to sculpt and shape the context to which I am sending a client, a great deal of damage could be done if the small group turns out to be emotionally unsafe after all. I also have the ability to help the client interpret and understand various social dynamics because I have first-hand knowledge of those dynamics. I am not merely relying on the client’s report of what happened in a small group; I am a direct witness to the program as a church staff member.

The Church Therapy model does not exist merely to provide mental health services within the church as a set apart ministry. The Church Therapist uses the entire church context as a therapeutic milieu in which the client can grow and experience transformation.

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Christ in Counseling

Mention the words “church” and “counseling” in the same sentence and I assure you the response will be surprising. While the Church has been a place people have turned to during emotional struggles for centuries, the development of modern psychology has sparked an intense debate within the Church. What causes mental illness or emotional struggles? What is the best way to address those issues? Should a pastor provide counseling or is that the job of a professionally licensed therapist? Does embracing certain aspects of psychological study mean we are compromising our faith?

Many have jumped to conclusions about the Church Therapy model, asserting that I have somehow sold out on my faith because I have studied psychology and advocate for professional licensure. Previously on Twitter, a person I do not know who has never asked a single question about this model wrote to me: “Counseling minus Christ equals deception.” Whoa. I have learned not to take these comments personally, but it did get me thinking about how to articulate my views on the role of Christ in counseling. First of all, I want to clarify that the Church Therapy model is primarily focused on counseling those who are already following Christ. Of course there may be some who are in a seeker-phase of the spiritual journey, but typically those who come to a church for counseling are already Christians. I do not believe it is the role of a counselor to proselytize in a counseling session, so for this reason Church Therapy does not seek to gain new converts.

Counseling in the Church Therapy model is part of the discipleship process as spiritual growth and emotional health provide increased freedom. Christ is 100% at the center of this process because he alone is able to supernaturally change lives. However, that does not mean that my primary methods are quoting Scripture or praying with clients. At times these can be helpful, but more often psychological strategies such as Motivational Interviewing or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are far more effective in helping a person overcome various emotional challenges. For this reason, training in the Bible is not enough to train a person to be an effective counselor. Even basic helping skills like active listening, though useful on some level, are not enough to train a person to be a competent counselor.

So how can it be that I claim Christ is at the center yet I highlight modern psychological techniques as superior methods for therapy? Perhaps an illustration would help clarify this point. A couple of years ago, I walked alongside some friends whose baby had lost oxygen for nearly 15 minutes at birth. He was rushed into the NICU and placed on a cooling pad, an advanced treatment for babies at risk for brain damage at birth. The baby had to be on the cooling pad for 72 hours before any testing could be done to assess brain damage. During this time the goal was to slow the development of brain cells in order to stop any further damage. That was the longest 72 hours I have ever experienced as we prayed and fasted and poured everything we had into seeking a miracle for this baby (who the doctor’s warned would probably be very brain damaged). Every day that I see that little boy, who has little to no signs of brain damage today, I see a walking miracle. Was Christ at the center of his healing? Absolutely. Did the doctors use a modern method to facilitate that process? Yes.

Using researched strategies to address mental health issues is no different. We no longer have to accept the ideologies of Freud, Jung or Skinner in order to believe that modern psychology has a lot of knowledge to offer. Even most secular counselors do not hold tightly to these early definitions of psychology. The Church Therapy model connects biblical, psychological and biological truths in order to most effectively move a person towards healing and life change as they deepen in their walk with Christ.

Unfortunately, even many Christian counselors do not view counseling as part of the discipleship process and they counsel many non-believers. They can help them change certain aspects of their life, help them cope, or improve their communication skills. But this does not move them into deeper relationship with Jesus. The Church Therapy model is a true integration of Christian faith and psychological study. Both are in mind at all times as the Holy Spirit moves in the midst of effective therapeutic strategies.

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What is Mental Illness?

I often speak about the Church’s response to “mental illness.” Often used interchangeably are words like “mental health issues” or “emotional struggles.” Defining these terms is important in this dialogue, as doing so ensures that we all know exactly what types of problems we are trying to address.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 5th Edition (DSM-5) states this definition:

“A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual’s cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning” (p. 20).

The term “mental illness” can conjure up a variety of images, including other problems (such as homelessness or addiction issues) that sometimes co-occur with severe and chronic mental illnesses. Movies like A Beautiful Mind or Girl, Interrupted portray psychotic symptoms that are present with disorders such as schizophrenia. But are these mental models accurate when we think of the term “mental illness”? When we speak of the Church’s response to mental illness, are we simply trying to reach these severe cases?

Mental illness is far more common than we realize. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, in any given year 20% of American adults experience symptoms of a mental illness.  This means that 1 in every 5 people are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, adjustment disorders, PTSD and many other mental illnesses each year. Some may argue that those statistics might not represent the Church, as a faith and hope in Christ would offer a way out of these symptoms. However, if the Church is doing its job to reach the hurting, then our churches should be filled with more suffering, not less.

Notice that the statistic says 1 in 5 each year. That means that mental illness is not forever. Many people experience a single episode of depression that resolves with temporary medication and treatment and they never experience mental illness again. For others, mental illness is a chronic disease that requires life-long management. The Church can and should be a beacon of hope to the suffering, and hopefulness has a healing impact spiritually, psychologically, and biologically. But as with any illness, simply becoming a Christian will not make the symptoms go away. It is in this way that we as the Church must have a continual response of acceptance, love, and understanding to avoid stigmatizing and shaming those who continue to struggle throughout their journey with Christ.

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Invisible Wounds

What if 20% of the people in your congregation were paralyzed and had to use a wheelchair? Most likely, the church would add ramps and find other ways to make the church accessible, accommodating these disabilities. Yet because we do not see mental illnesses (or even invisible illnesses such as chronic pain), we tend to doubt their existence and we certainly do not accommodate people suffering with these types of brain disorders or emotional difficulties. We do not seek to adapt to their needs and often we do not even seek to understand their needs.

What does it mean to be like Christ to all of those hurting in our midst? What does it mean to seek to understand another person’s experience? Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” If we as the Church are to be like Christ, then we must also seek to be close to the brokenhearted and rescue those who are struggling with emotional problems and mental illnesses. What would it look like for your church to be a place where the brokenhearted are rescued? How can you reach out to the marginalized in your community?

The National Alliance for Mental Illness estimates that 1 in 5 adults experience symptoms of a mental illness each year. More research needs to be done to determine how representative the church-going population is. But what if it were 20% of your congregation? 20% of the community surrounding your church? Desperately in need of understanding and compassion. These invisible wounds often prevent a person from feeling like they fit in at church, or may stop them from coming altogether. If they come, they might feel like a “less-than” Christian because they don’t feel the way everyone else seems to feel. They are likely to be told that they should “trust God more” to make their mental illness go away.

It is time that we as the Church no longer turn a blind eye to the invisibly wounded. It is time to stop judging and blaming and giving pat answers and rise up to bring the Gospel back to its actual message: Jesus came for everyone. Regardless of how you feel or whether you could get out of bed today, Jesus is for you. Jesus makes his table accessible to all.

 

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NEW Interview!

This week I was privileged to be interviewed for the second time for the Church & Mental Health (CXMH) podcast. In the interview, I share my thoughts about how I see the tides turning in the conversations about mental health in the church.

Listen to the interview here.

I’d love to hear your reactions and thoughts — post a comment below and be sure to subscribe to this great podcast!